Dark Clouds and Rainbows.
The first Good Friday I remember.
We used to have a lot of trees in my compound. I’m talking mango trees, cashew trees, coconut trees, guava trees and even the ones that didn’t bear fruits. My grandfather had a thing for nature, or maybe he had a thing for fruits. So when he died and we couldn’t keep up with the daily visits from snakes, Grandma didn’t hesitate to cut most of them off.
On this Good Friday, Grandma hired the services of one Mr Ayeni, to help cut down one mango tree that was directly in front of our flat. That tree was ridiculously huge, and I watched every branch fall to the ground, landing with heavy thuds that made the earth vibrate.
Hours later, the sky went from blue to pitch black. It was going to rain, but that was when it occurred to NEPA that they’d flex their muscles.
I went inside and decided to watch TV, the animated version of the whole Good Friday fiasco. They were just about nailing the poor guy on the cross, and suddenly, the sky became dark, as dark it was in the real world. It made me wonder if Jesus was being crucified again, somewhere on earth.
I’m sure the power holding people got the idea that I was beginning to get scared, so they took the light. I was afraid to go back outside and watch the fall of the great mango tree, so I sat with Grandma in the house. I think that was the first time I heard that the reason why there is never power supply when it’s about to rain, is because water and fire aren’t friends. And boy, was she right.
For years, I watched the skies darken, coupled with raindrops and the much anticipated disappearance of electricity.
I’m not so good with words, so I don’t exactly know how to liken my childhood with the dark clouds and the disappearing lights. But it was really dark for a long time.
My Obsession with Rainbows.
Call me sentimental, but I love rainbows. I took my time to study the myths and the facts. I was always looking forward to seeing a rainbow, right after the rain. Somewhere along the line, the painful reality that rainbows would not appear after every rainfall, hit me.
Biblically, a rainbow is a sign of new beginnings, maybe that’s why I liked them even more.
Some years ago…
It was one of those days. I was fed up with life and I was just a teenager. Trying to get over sexual assaults and trying to survive with an abusive aunt was quite tasking. In my frustration, when I still strongly believed in God, I went on my knees, outside my house and cried. I was in so much pain, thinking about it now is making me teary eyed all over again.
Hours later, I saw a rainbow. The funniest thing was, it didn’t rain, but the clouds were heavy and the skies were dark, with the sun lurking around somewhere. The rainbow said, “You’ll survive, kid”. And I did.
My sentimental self held on to that memory for years and even at this age, I still look out for rainbows.
Sometime last month,
I found a rainbow.
I was going to get myself a drink, and I ran into my mother as she was returning from work. She had to leave work early for a while, especially when I came home after my exams, because she was scared I’d kill myself. I didn’t even have the strength to plot my death, I’d just sleep all day, hoping the angel of death would do his thing.
But I saw that rainbow.
And I cried.
I’ve run out of hope again, but I’m convinced that I’ll survive.
I’m pretty sure you will, too.
